You are sooo not alone on this one. A lot of us are all in the same boat. It's super easy to get down on yourself for not stacking up to the people that you look up to; especially when it's so blatantly obvious in an age of the internet where it's all about followers and plays and reposts and blah blah blah blah
the point is, it's all a matter of perspective. I try not to focus on the number of people listening to my stuff or supporting me, but I really find joy when I find the people who genuinely enjoyed my music (and sometimes that's only a handful of people), even though my self-critical nature is telling me that my mix is terrible, or my arranging skills are terrible. Ignore your instinct to tear your work down because of the technical nitty-gritty of it all, and try to realize that there are people out there that enjoy your art because it's a raw expression of who you are

I know that's SUPER cheesy and kinda lame sounding, but it's really helped me in my production.
Also, for what it's worth, I really enjoy your music