Sorry, me again. Firstly, apologies if this comes across patronising, it's not intentional...
One thing that helped me get slightly beyond "4-floor kick, backbeat snare and 16th highs" and "layer after layer of percussion parts that don't really work together" was learning about hockets (music theory term, not a description of how you clear your throat into a bucket).
You'd start by singing a rhythm to yourself - maybe even literally sing it, like "chak splat diddy diddy chak splat"... then, you get that down in a MIDI sequencer grid somehow. Just all on one note/pitch is fine, the rhythm's the first priority.
Then, you distribute the notes between different percussion sounds. I dunno what DAW you're using but... in Ableton maybe you'd make a Drum Rack with 16 conga/perc sounds? Then, if you push the MIDI notes up and down, different percussion sounds will play different notes in the rhythm.
If the rhythm plays in the context of an existing main kick-snare-high pattern... well, some of the hocket notes probably fall on snares or highs or kicks, in which case... maybe the snare or high should be the voice for that particular note. If you're starting from scratch (and if it suits the musical style you're working in) you could use the kick/snare/highs as the voices in your hocket, then embellish it a bit with some subtle, delicate sounds to fill the gaps?
If you get it right, you end up with a tasty rhythm/groove, but it sounds holistic, like a drummer's playing the whole thing. Because... I guess you're not just throwing layer after layer on top of the basic beat.
Also there's a broader implication: a dance music groove is kind of like a hocket between drum sounds and more or less percussive synths?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hJyOMwoL_8MRight from the start of that track I hear a hocket between the kick and the bassline, and the syncopated echo/reverb off the claps ("boom. doo-by doop doooo")? To me, that's what makes the track funky/groovy. So yeh, when I'm trying to write a rhythm I'm thinking "where's the hocket? How can I bring it out? How can I avoid messing it up?"
Sorry if that's just me crapping on, hope it helps