Oya,

It start pretty right away. could use some ambiance work before the voice to introduce.

Cool ideas, I like the vocals but we can feel that you've chopped them. It needs to be more liquid, needs to flow. Kick and snare are fine. Although, i would change the snare for the second part.

Keep it up, and try fixing the vocals.

thanks for the feedback, what tips do you have to make the vocals flow better? I agree completely

try automating the volume. make it fade in, fade out. I don't really know since i haven't worked on any vocals songs. Maybe add a bit of reverb to make it feel better. I'm not quite sure. but try it