This is basically me venting out more than anything...

When I started producing (around 3yrs ago) I started it out like almost everyone else, pulled some basic drums samples, made a beat, recorded some guitar with my shitty headphone mic, and that was it. The "song", if you could even call it that, was awful, but the experience was amazing. The idea of making music all by myself was so freeing, since I was used with the idea that to make music you had to get friends who played, then create a band, then practice and etc...

So the years pass, and I notice that, slowly, I'm improving, both in sound design as well in mixing/mastering[at as slower pace than the usual, but everyone's different]. I excluded composing because I were always kinda of a natural in it, since my dad played guitar and loved music as well, I've kinda grown in an enviroment were the idea of pursuing music was heavily approved, and even influenced.

Last year my 4 year old relationship ended, and in that same year a very close friend of mine discovered he had stomach cancer. I got into a time in my life I don't really like remembering, I got into a really depressing state and found that the most effective way I could distract myself from all the shit that was happening was sitting in front of the computer and try to produce, so that's what I did, last year becoming the year I have most improved technically.

But as if the amount of bad stuff happening wasn't enough, february of this year my dad enters in a coma and ends up passing away in july.

I was able to get back on my feet. But since that I feel like my ability to make music has disappeared. I can sit for a session of 8 hours and still, nothing even remotely good comes out. I don't know what happened.

I never was one of those people who believe like music is an extension of your soul or that you're exposing yourself and everything about you in a song, I just made music for the simple joy of making something that sounds nice.

Like I said in the start of the post, this isn't anything but a vent, I'm not hoping for any help. I just hope this goes away with time.

I Think its a good idea to take some time away from the studio man and rest yourself, music is so demanding on the body and you've just been through a lot

(If you still want to be in the studio), i just try make some patches with some synths or play with chords, watch some tutorials, i think that helps

wow.

i agree with what marrow said, you've been through a hell of a lot, don't discount the toll that all of that takes on you. at the same time, i hope you keep fighting to create, i believe that you can make it through.

if you need to vent or just need to talk, feel free to dm me or join the forum's chat (links are in my bio). stay strong, friend.