side chaining takes a signal source and sends that source signal to a compressor and uses that source signal to trigger the compressor (source runs in parallel to a compressor where the parallel signal activates the compressor).
with side chaining, you're causing the compressor to duck out when the source signal is being activated.
the more aggressive settings causes the compressor to behave more aggressively (ie you hear more of the effect) if you have higher ratios and threshold settings.
and you have more subtle effect with lower threshold and ratio settings.
attack and release define when the compressor is activated and how long it ends given the respective settings.
The source's parallel signal, attack, and release settings determine how long and when the compressor activates. threshold and ratio determine how aggressive the effect is.
I would suggest you group kick and snare and send ALL of your instruments to one side chain compressor group. then send a parallel signal of your kick and snare group.
there's a reason for this as if you were to do it individually it eats up processing and creates lag the more time you do it....so uses groups.
you can also do this to vocals as the source signal as well to get the vocals to sit on top of the music.