I think you have a lot of good ideas in this track, but I think you have a bit too many ideas that you're trying to put into this track. There's a general arrangement, but there's not really much cohesion between them and the sections sort of start and stop without any kind of warning.

I would look for 1 or 2 songs that you think feel similar to your song - i'm sure there are some R&B or chill trap tracks that have the vibe you're going for - and bring them into your DAW in the same session as this project. Take some time to examine how those songs are put together, and compare them directly with your own track. Ask yourself what they're doing that you like that you're currently not doing. Ask what they're doing that you like that you are doing. Ask what they're not doing that you are doing, and what you're doing that they're not doing. Most importantly, ask yourself why those things are different or the same.

These questions can apply to any part of the track, from the composition to the instrumentation to the arrangement to the mixdown and the mastering. That feedback will honestly help you out just as much as having a second person listening and telling you what they think, because the other person in this scenario is the guy or girl who wrote the song you're referencing.