Hey there good basic arrangement. I feel that it's lacking quite a bit on the low end and your mids/highs are overpowering the kick and bass.

First off I'd try playing around with selective frequency EQing and stereo imaging to really give each of your instruments that 'oompf'.

i'm going to assume this hasnt hit a mastering chain yet? i'd reccomend limiting and or using gain just to get the overall volume up a bit
composition is nice, flow is good, sounds are alright but i feel like its a little bit empty and the mixdown feels off, i cant point out what it is exactly but the whole track feels too heavily weighted in the midrange section IMO, sounds like a good start

I like the idea, the track sounds muddy... some simple EQing could help.

Nice idea and vibe but you have to work more on the mixdown to make the the track breathe!