I like the idea, I know you said you want more insight on the mix and in general the mix is nice, however I think you could pick better sounds for some of your drums. Im not a huge fan of the kick you chose for this, and outside of the mix I think you may want to fix up the chords you chose. I think your biggest drawback in the song is less on the mix and more on the music encompassing it, not to sound discouraging
