many problems with this mix and most stem from the vox. make urself sound really cool with lots of processing!
i dont care about that tho, what i really care is the musicality of ur work
lyrics (as sourced from ur soundcloud)
I need you to come back home,
It's been so long since you've been in my arms,
And since you've been gone, I've been all alone,
So come home, we'll stay forever.
You've been in my life from a young young age,
It feels like a dream when you call my name,
I look to my side but you've gone again,
So come home, we'll stay forever.
even reading this on paper it's like... who r u... why are you talking to me so sensually.. there r so many ways that u can fix this lyric and not sound really creepy (which is probably the byproduct of using a ghost method to write this song, which is cool, it just doesn't sound like too much thought was put into the wordplay)
it's really hard to critique this without sounding like im bashing u and i wrote a whole 10 page essay on why you shouldn't use 2nd person pronouns because it sounds really creepy but take my word for it because it sounds really creepy.
you're not the best vocalist either and i feel u on that, but like... write the melody to your advantages yeah?? on the second line of your verses it sounds like you turn to the tonic on the last note of your melody? choose literally anything else for that bro, that's just not cool and it messes up the entire feng shui of your verses. consider changing the key so that ur hitting notes that really showcase urself. and like, ultimately if that means you have to change that shit to Eb minor and that messes up your sub bass because whatever edm article told u to never write songs below E (lol) who cares because the vocals are always the most important part of a song if u feature them
hope that wasnt too much
best of luck with the tunes
-listnd 2 on my laptop speakers
