To answer what you've asked.

Yes and no.

With better arrangement - yes. The drop kinda comes outta the blue and I'm not a fan of those 8 bit chords. Theyre a bit out of place. The whole song sounds a bit like a skeleton, as expected if you just did it last night.

I think a more polished version will be better to make a judgement. But my opinion is this is more on a positive note than not.