The part before the build has a nice groove to it with the bass line and the choppy chords
There's room for some quick and easy wins here: Your kick and snare have an annoying flam (double-hit) that you can get rid of. Your kick is also a bit too slappy, check the high mids and treble there. You have some weird drop-out/panning screw-ups in the hats that I'm not sure are deliberate? Make sure there's nothing weird going on with the channel. And then the snare roll in the build-up just fizzles since it's got no foundation to stand on, and no context around it. You can give it some bottom end, add some transition effects, make the listener WANT the drop.
There are also some issues that will be considerably harder to fix: In the break, there's not enough harmonic complexity, with just the piano and a single note of strings, and a really basic progression. The melody sounds a bit disjointed and random as well; maybe check the composition forum here for advice on writing melodies! In the main part, suddenly there are too many things fighting for the same frequency room and it gets mighty busy in the mids, while the chords still sound samey and it makes the track feel harmonically empty and boring. It's really hard to give constructive advice here—I feel like that's a fundamental compositional problem that may not be fixable without a rewrite.
Overall, perhaps it's best to just do some minor polishing (really, the kick and snare double hit is the most egregious thing
), call this finished, stow it away, and move on to the next thing. That is not meant to be a harsh or unfriendly critique and I hope you don't take it that way. It's a skill worth having to know when you've hit a dead end. Finish this, then write your next thing, it'll be fine.
