This will probably be my last post on this forum.  I appreciate all the members who contribute here, and I expect some of you to do very well in the industry in the future.

As I wrote some months ago, I no longer have the ability to create like I used to.  As if that is not bad enough, I also got acceptance for my concept album draft, and 3 separate demo tracks from several labels.  I should have been very happy, but since I felt like I could not come through, it only added to my issues.  I got more and more wound up in it.  Constantly feeling stressed, and unable to do anything about it.

One day I saw a tweet from a well-known producer, who offered his services in music production.  Ghost producing, engineering, and general help was what he said he could help with.  I contacted him, and we agreed that he would finish three of my drafts, and make them into the songs that I had intended them to be.  I paid upfront, and sent him all my arrangement, midis and samples for the first track.

After a week I contacted him to check if he had gotten my payment, and how it was coming along.  He said he was about to start two days later, and that this was an basically an easy assignment.  I sent the materials for the second track, and a week later he had still not downloaded it.  So I mailed him about it.  He said he had a defective motherboard so nothing had been done.  Two weeks later he said that he was not done yet, because he was moving.  A week after that he was lacking some sound insulation for his studio.  Then it went silent.
After 8 weeks I contacted him to ask if stuff was happening, as I was to meet some industry people at a conference.  He said that the conference had him swamped, and then stopped replying again.

After the conference, I contacted again to ask if we should just call it off, as I now had impression that this was not a gig that fit him very well.  He responded that this could not be further from the truth, and went about how good my ideas and melodies were.  Then no contact for another month.

Now the whole thing was getting ridicolous, so I asked him to send me stuff like he had promised.  He promised to send it the next  day.  Nothing came, and 10 days later I asked for us to just call it quits while things were still civil.  He declined to do so, claiming he was still working very hard on my project.  He could not explain any more as he had just lost a loved one.

So I waited one more month, and then I filed for my payment to be returned.
He claimed that this was not what we agreed on, as he had stated that he would refund 50% if I was not pleased with the tracks when they were done.  He wanted to keep 50% for his work.  Not once during the six months of waiting did he ever give any proof that he had spent a minute in the studio on my tracks.  So I disagreed, and today I was refunded in full.

So what is the purpose of this story?  I don´t really know, but I think I just wanted to share an insight to the desperation that I felt when I lost the music.

I was stupid to let things drag out as long, but I guess I got blinded by his fame.  I was really hoping this would be my swan song, but now it seems like there won't be any.  I will probably just give away my finished tracks to one of my old labels, and just call it quits.  My inspiration is lost.

I couldn't even make it when I cheated

Good luck to all you guys!

Peace out!