Try pulling down pins at the harsh frequencies- 1k, 4k, 6-7k
Accentuate the air 10-12k
And incorprate a compressor with a very fast attack and rhythmic release. Most of the harshness in a ride happens on the attack, so catching that but letting the rest of the ride live can help.

"Plucked" or "Struck" sounding synth sounds utilize a low pass gate for the effect. In modern analog synths the gate is triggered and an led flashes. The dimming of the led creates the musical and organic decay. Here's a link to the one in my modular- http://www.makenoisemusic.com/modules/optomix
Not sure how to do it with a soft synth, but I hope this helps!